Be Bold: The Decision Before the Decision

Guest Post by Jeff Shore:Jeff Shore

An excerpt from “Be Bold and Win the Sale” by Jeff Shore

Available from McGraw-Hill Business in January 2014

 Several years ago my wife and I took swing dance lessons in preparation for our son’s wedding; we wanted to dance without looking foolish. (OK, I wanted to dance without looking foolish.) Learning to dance was uncomfortable and often frustrating but we eventually got to the point where we could pull off a few moves.

After we had learned the basics of the East Coast Swing, we still had to actually dance…in front of people! We thought it not wise to make our “debut” at the wedding reception so we decided to go to a club and actually give it a shot. I confess this was a radically uncomfortable decision. The very idea of dancing in front of people—even strangers—was incredibly stressful to me so I was not sure how I would respond when I actually got to the club.

The key for us was to make a positive decision before we faced our moment of discomfort. In sales and in life, most of the familiar moments of discomfort can be predicted with some degree of accuracy. So if they can be predicted, this means we can pre-determine our response. In other words, I can train my mental muscles before I need to use them.

Make a positive decision to be bold BEFORE you face your discomfort!

We had to make our decision to dance in advance. Were we to make the decision during our moment of discomfort (at the club) we would tap into a lower plane in our brain—that emotion-driven comfortable place. I knew for a fact that my emotional brain would say, “Run away!” When we made the decision to dance in advance, absent of the emotion associated with the moment of discomfort, we were able to choose that action out of a higher center of the brain, from our ethical plane. The right thing to do was to dance.

When we arrived at the club we noticed that the live band was rocking and the club-goers were…sitting in chairs around the dance floor looking like they were waiting their turn for an IRS audit. My wife and I had to remind ourselves of our pre-made decision. Dancing in front of people was one thing; doing so when no one else was dancing seemed like quite another! That would make us the center of the show…that’s a whole new level of discomfort! Had we not already made the decision to dance, we would have joined the crowd and had a seat; but the decision was made…and so we danced!

Was it uncomfortable to dance on an open floor with complete strangers observing and evaluating? (At least, that’s the story I told myself: that strangers cared about my dance moves.) Yep, mighty uncomfortable! But it wasn’t two minutes later that another couple got up…and another…and another. The attitude of the band picked up. The energy grew. Soon people were dancing, smiling and singing along as they left their inhibitions behind.

This is one of the amazing things about making pre-decisions to be bold: being bold comes with an inherent freedom. My wife and I did feel uncomfortable about starting to dance, but it was a short-lived discomfort because we had already made the decision before we were in the moment. Because of that decision, we were freed up to take action. There was nothing to discuss with each other and our feelings of discomfort did not last as long because our pre-decision made the process simple. We were going to dance, no matter what.  We were freed from our discomfort by having a plan and sticking to it. And somewhat surprisingly, our bold action freed up those around us!

May I encourage you to make bold decisions NOW! Determine your future success RIGHT NOW! Go into boldness training immediately. Don’t wait for your discomfort to dictate your level of success.

About the Author:

Jeff Shore is a highly sought-after sales expert, speaker, author and executive coach whose innovative BE BOLD methodology teaches you how to change your mindset and change your world. His latest book, Be Bold and Win the Sale: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Boost Your Performance, is forthcoming from McGraw-Hill in January 2014. Learn more at jeffshore.com or follow Jeff on Twitter.

More About the Author:

For more than three decades, Jeff has guided executives and sales teams in large and small companies across the globe to embrace their discomforts and deliver BOLD sales results. In a crowded field of sales experts and training programs, Jeff Shore stands out with his research-based BE BOLD methodology. Combining his extensive front-line sales experience with the latest Cognitive Behavioral Therapy research, Jeff has created a highly effective, personalized way to reset sales paradigms and deliver industry-leading results. Jeff doesn’t just teach you how to sell, he shows you how to change your mindset and change your world.